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John VI

One day, on his way from Kansas City (don't ask which one) to Los Angeles, the MEH Guru ran into a pair of his disciples. After they picked themselves up off of the ground they brushed off their pants and siad something which no one can remember, so all we can do is suppose that it might have been something of catastrophic significance and that it could have totally and completely change our lives, but we'll never know what it was so we must live in ignorance. Ignorance is bliss, or is it Bliss-tex? the disciples confronted the Great MEH with a problem.

"What is two plus two?"

"Math sucks. MEH." said the Guru, whose vocabulary was then eight words.

They then said, "Ok, if you are so smart," for they were not true enough believers to realize that the Guru indeed knew enough, "then just suppose this:" and they began the Question of the Ages.

"Suppose a plane left Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, heading for the Dallas / Fort Worth area at 3 pm, and a train left Chicago heading for New Orleans at 2 pm, and the plane was an American Airlines plane, and the train was an Amtrak train, and some guy from Maine was on the train, but he owned a blue VW Bug parked in a parking garage (on the third level) in Cleveland with a parking ticket on it for $45.00 which a meter-maid named Helga left there as soon as the 6:15 pm train got in from San Fransisco, which is purely a point of time reference, having nothing to do with the polynomial function of the curve at a point p where t is greater than (or equal!) to 4 but not a vertical asymptote to the line.

"The plane was traveling at a speed of 200 miles per hour, give or take a donation, and the train was traveling at 125 mph, and a ship leaving Miami towards Cuba to pick up illegal drugs intended for sale on the black market in the United States, but destined ultimately to meet its fate on a stunt boat on an unknown and unviewed segment of Miami Vice, was then traveling at 20 knots, and boy was it hard to tie twenty knots each hour while someone on board was trying to rollerskate but was having a hell of a time of it because of the boat rocking and bobbing all over the place.

"Now suppose also some guy on the train had a dental appointment in Denver at 6 am the next day, and also had to remember to call his wife who was currently in Washington D.C. even though they lived in New York, but could you blame her? They really didn't care to much for New York because they could never get a cab. But suppose this guy had to call his wife at precisely the time that the train ran into a brick wall on to its way back to where we siad it came from. And then the plane fell victim to a hijacking.

"At what time would the hijacked airplane dump its cargo on the previously mentioned but no sanctioned boat going to Cuba to get drugs which whould never reach the United States because of Crockett and Tubbs?" they finally asked, with a twinkle in their eyes.

The Great Guru closed his eyes and meditated for twenty seconds, which seemed to be the correct amount of serious contemplation on nothing specific, since he already knew the answer but didn't want the disciples to think he was some totally all-knowing being, which he wasn't, but all the disciples thought he was, since they assumed he was an all-powerful being, which he was. Finally he spoke the answer, and it was simply,